don't forget that God is hope

Three years ago I wrote the following message to friends and family. 

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Oct 23, 2017 

 This is an example of how I know God answers prayer and a request that you will pray with me.  

One of the things I deal with as a part of my chronic illnesses is pain.  Several types of pain.  Joint pain.  Muscle pain.  Nerve pain.  Arthritic pain.  Sometimes one of them is present.  Other times they all are.  On a normal day, the pain is always present, but it's become so routine that I think of it as background noise.  It's always drawing some of my attention, but I can still function fairly well.  On bad days, the pain ratchets up and I have a harder time focusing on anything else.  On what I call beyond awful days (thankfully, I've only had a handful of this category in the last two months), the pain is consuming.  

I have a scale of 1 to 8 that I used to measure my days which encompasses all of my symptoms.  One is great (I have not recorded a great day once in the last 4.5 years, but I keep it on the scale because I'm optimistic) and 8 is the beyond awful I mentioned above.  As a reference, for the last two months the days have ranged from 5-8; staying in the lower/worse half. 

This past week has been stuck at 6-7, with the worst pain centering in my hands.  It's hard when the pain is in my hands.  I realize just how much I use them when every movement hurts.  On Saturday and Sunday, I spent the latter half of each day trying not to move my hands to keep the pain at bay, but that's not possible this week as I'm responsible for work that needs to be done before we finish our workshop.

I sent a message to my parents last night who joined me in praying for less pain when I woke up this morning.  God answers prayer because it is indeed less today.  But I know the increased pain is very near and I have work that needs to be done so I'm asking if you will join me in praying for a miraculous pain free week.  

Thank you. 

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Oct 22, 2020
Looking back at these words from three years ago, I am reminded of several things.  

• Not every day will be an 8.  I've had a few 8s this year, but not nearly as many as in 2017.  
• God answers prayer!   I wrote this on a Monday morning as I was beginning the final week of a long workshop.  My hands were indeed hurting less than the night before, but within an hour or two after waking up I already felt the pain getting worse and worse.  Often when this happens, it becomes debilitating.  This day and this week, because of the prayers of many, I was able to carry on.  The pain was bad, but it was not debilitating.  In fact, I actually could feel it start to recede as people started praying.  I've never felt it that drastically before or since this week.
• Nothing is impossible.  I won't deny feeling like I was facing the impossible during this week three years ago.  I could not see through the obstacles.  But I knew God could.  Recognizing that was the first step. 
  

This afternoon I was sharing with someone about how the things I've experienced have shaped my faith.  The more I've seen God do, the more I believe He can do the impossible.  I'd like to think I would believe without seeing proof, but I'm thankful that God allows me to come to Him as a frail and humble creature asking for big things that I want to believe in, but I'm not sure how to believe.  He wants our belief, but He's willing to help us cultivate it and I'm so thankful for that.  

The things I have experienced have given me a confidence in our God.  Nothing is too big, nothing is too overwhelming.  This month I have been emotionally and spiritually processing some of the things I've seen God do and I'll probably share more about it soon, but today I just needed to share that God answers prayers.  

It is so easy to get discouraged by life, by circumstances, by darkness, by frustrations and grief and hopelessness.  But don't forget that God is never discouraged.  Don't forget that God is light.  Don't forget that God is hope.  Don't forget that God is all-powerful.