counting blessings
Psalm 61:1-4
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I for you a have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever and take refuge under the shelter of your wings.
I'm writing this post to publish at the time when the bus will pick me up to take me to the airport. Why? Because I really don't want to go and I need this focus check. It's hard to admit these words to the public. I've shared them with some family and friends, but how do you as a "good missionary or christian" share the truth of life when it's really not pretty and when you really don't like it very much? It's hard. It's hard to be honest about your struggles. It's hard to find words that express your emotions and yet are appropriate to share. It's hard to admit that everything is not rosy. And yet, it isn't. Life is hard. Life isn't always rosy.
So this month's counting blessings post is going to look a little different than usual. I'm going to tell you a few of the things that I'm struggling with and then find something to be thankful about that item.
1. Food
I don't particularly like village food. Mostly because it can be repetitive and frequently includes things like tin fish or real fish or other things that my vegetarian self can barely stand to swallow.
*Thankful: I am thankful that on this trip I can bring and eat my own food for breakfast and lunch each day. Even though it's a lot of prep work, it means only one meal a day that is difficult.
2. The Unknown
This trip is to a completely new area of the country for me. I don't know what to expect and even though I've talked repeatedly to people who live and work there I'm anxious about what the conditions will be like for sleeping, washing, toilets, traveling by river, mud, working, walking, and doing all of that with my limited energy.
*Thankful: I am thankful for the opportunity to see a new place. I know that this is contradictory to what I just said, but two sides in me war over this. I love to see new things and new places, but sometimes it's harder than others.
3. Mud and Rain
I've read that the area we are going to received 200-300 inches of rain per year and that August is the wettest month of the year. That means mud, mud, and oh wait, more mud! It means clothes not drying because of the rain and humidity and being damp almost constantly.
*Thankful: I've also read and heard that because of all of the rain it is possible to take shortcuts through the water networks to get to different places, which means less overall time in the dinghy. I'm thankful for that!
4. Unfamiliar Work
Our biggest focus will be on literacy and helping teachers in the area. That is not my gift and I'd be lying if I said that didn't put me on edge. I don't know what we'll be doing and honestly I don't know how helpful I can be.
*Thankful: This will give me the opportunity to learn something new. This will give me the opportunity to learn something new. This will give me the opportunity to learn something new. If I repeat it enough, maybe I'll start believing it!
5. I Don't Feel Great
This isn't anything new, but with all of the other new things that I am and will be contending with it definitely adds an extra challenge. Because I can't really predict how each day will go health-wise, I don't know how much I will be able to do and yet there is a lot to be done and lots of people to try to keep up with.
*Thankful: Oh boy. Okay, I am thankful for my weakness because it humbles my pride and shows me what God can do rather than what Susie can do.
Is that all? Probably not, but those are some of the highlights that directly affect me over the next few weeks. The verses in Psalm 61 are ones that I keep coming across today and a perfect reminder. When my heart is overwhelmed, I will turn my focus to praise. God is good all the time, through every circumstance. He is bigger than what I face or what anyone else faces. He is my strength when I am weak.
Can I challenge you to join me in finding something to be thankful for about the things you are struggling with? It doesn't remove them, but it does make them smaller.
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I for you a have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever and take refuge under the shelter of your wings.
I'm writing this post to publish at the time when the bus will pick me up to take me to the airport. Why? Because I really don't want to go and I need this focus check. It's hard to admit these words to the public. I've shared them with some family and friends, but how do you as a "good missionary or christian" share the truth of life when it's really not pretty and when you really don't like it very much? It's hard. It's hard to be honest about your struggles. It's hard to find words that express your emotions and yet are appropriate to share. It's hard to admit that everything is not rosy. And yet, it isn't. Life is hard. Life isn't always rosy.
So this month's counting blessings post is going to look a little different than usual. I'm going to tell you a few of the things that I'm struggling with and then find something to be thankful about that item.
1. Food
I don't particularly like village food. Mostly because it can be repetitive and frequently includes things like tin fish or real fish or other things that my vegetarian self can barely stand to swallow.
*Thankful: I am thankful that on this trip I can bring and eat my own food for breakfast and lunch each day. Even though it's a lot of prep work, it means only one meal a day that is difficult.
2. The Unknown
This trip is to a completely new area of the country for me. I don't know what to expect and even though I've talked repeatedly to people who live and work there I'm anxious about what the conditions will be like for sleeping, washing, toilets, traveling by river, mud, working, walking, and doing all of that with my limited energy.
*Thankful: I am thankful for the opportunity to see a new place. I know that this is contradictory to what I just said, but two sides in me war over this. I love to see new things and new places, but sometimes it's harder than others.
3. Mud and Rain
I've read that the area we are going to received 200-300 inches of rain per year and that August is the wettest month of the year. That means mud, mud, and oh wait, more mud! It means clothes not drying because of the rain and humidity and being damp almost constantly.
*Thankful: I've also read and heard that because of all of the rain it is possible to take shortcuts through the water networks to get to different places, which means less overall time in the dinghy. I'm thankful for that!
4. Unfamiliar Work
Our biggest focus will be on literacy and helping teachers in the area. That is not my gift and I'd be lying if I said that didn't put me on edge. I don't know what we'll be doing and honestly I don't know how helpful I can be.
*Thankful: This will give me the opportunity to learn something new. This will give me the opportunity to learn something new. This will give me the opportunity to learn something new. If I repeat it enough, maybe I'll start believing it!
5. I Don't Feel Great
This isn't anything new, but with all of the other new things that I am and will be contending with it definitely adds an extra challenge. Because I can't really predict how each day will go health-wise, I don't know how much I will be able to do and yet there is a lot to be done and lots of people to try to keep up with.
*Thankful: Oh boy. Okay, I am thankful for my weakness because it humbles my pride and shows me what God can do rather than what Susie can do.
Is that all? Probably not, but those are some of the highlights that directly affect me over the next few weeks. The verses in Psalm 61 are ones that I keep coming across today and a perfect reminder. When my heart is overwhelmed, I will turn my focus to praise. God is good all the time, through every circumstance. He is bigger than what I face or what anyone else faces. He is my strength when I am weak.
Can I challenge you to join me in finding something to be thankful for about the things you are struggling with? It doesn't remove them, but it does make them smaller.
Seems like life is full of those struggles as we face the unknown - because we know there will be hardship and joy, uncomfortableness and blessing, dismay and excitement. Knowing God and His character, and that everything He allows us to go through good and bad is forming us into the image of Jesus: PRICELESS! Thanks so much for your faithfulness to go, and serve, in spite of the cost.
ReplyDelete